It may be over but it won't stop there: I am still human

8.8.11

I am still human

"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.

Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe. I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."

Marilyn

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Gimme gimme

A simple choice, nothing more.

This or that, either or.

Marry well, social whirl,

business man, clever girl.

Or pin my future on a green glass love.

What kind of life am i dreaming of?

I say gimme, gimme

that thing called love.

I need it.

Highs and lows, tears and laughter.

Gimme happy ever after.

Gimme, gimme

that thing called love.

That thing called love.

I don't care if he's a nobody,

in my heart he'll be a somebody.

Somebody to love me.

I need it,

gimme that thing called love.

I want it.

Here i am, st. valentine.

My bags are packed, i'm first in line.

Gimme, gimme

that thing called love.

On my own

pretending he's beside me.

All alone, I walk with him till morning.

Without him,

I feel his arms around me.

And when I lose my way I close my eyes,

he has found me.

In the rain the pavement shines like silver.

All the lights are misty in the river.

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

and all I see is him and me for ever and forever.

And I know it's only in my mind.

That I'm talking to myself and not to him.

And although I know that he is blind,

still I say, there's a way for us.

I love him

but when the night is over

he is gone, the river's just a river.

Without him the world around me changes.

The trees are bare and everywhere

the streets are full of strangers.

I love him

but every day I'm learning.

All my life I've only been pretending.

Without me his world will go on turning.

A world that's full of happiness

that I have never known.

I love him,

I love him

but only on my own.

When you were young

You sit there in your heartache,

waiting on some beautiful boy to

save you from your old ways.

You play forgiveness.

Watch it now, here he comes.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus

but he talks like a gentleman.

Like you imagined when you were young.

Can we climb this mountain?

I don't know.

Higher now than ever before,

I know we can make it if we take it slow.

Let's take it easy.

Easy now, watch it go.

We're burning down the highway skyline

on the back of a hurricane that started turning

when you were young.

And sometimes you close your eyes

and see the place where you used to live

when you were young.

They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet.

You don't have to drink right now,

but you can dip your feet

every once in a little while.

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus

but more than you'll ever know.

Champagne supernova

How many special people change?

How many lives are living strange?

Where were you while we were getting high?

Slowly walking down the hall,

faster than a cannonball.

Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me

caught beneath the landslide

in a champagne supernova in the sky.

A champagne supernova in the sky.

Wake up the dawn and ask her why.

A dreamer dreams, she never dies.

Wipe that tear away now from your eye.

'Cuz we don't believe

that they're gonna get away from the summer,

but you and I will never die .

The world's still spinning around we don't know why.

Why-why-why-why.

Jar of hearts

I know I can't take one more step towards you,

'cause all that's waiting is regret.

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?

You lost the love I loved the most.

I learned to live, half-alive,

and now you want me one more time.

And who do you think you are?

Runnin' 'round leaving scars.

Collecting your jar of hearts,

and tearing love apart.

You're gonna catch a cold

from the ice inside your soul.

So don't come back for me,

who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around

if I am anywhere to be found.

I have grown too strong

to ever fall back in your arms.

Dear, it took so long

just to feel alright.

Remember how to put back

the light in my eyes.

I wish I had missed

the first time that we kissed.

'Cause you broke all your promises

and now you're back you don't get to get me back.

Who do you think you are?

First love

So little to say but so much time.

Despite my empty mouth, the words are in my mind.

Please wear the face, the one where you smile.

Because you lighten up my heart when i start to cry.

Forgive me first love, but i'm tired.

I need to get away to feel again.

Try to understand why.

Don't get so close to change my mind.

Please wipe that look out of your eyes.

It's bribing me to doubt myself.

Simply it's tiring.

This love has dried up and stay behind,

and if I stay I'll be alive.

Then choke on words i'd always hide.

Excuse me first love but we're through.

I need to taste the kiss from someone new.

He won't go

Some say I'll be better without you

but they don't know you like I do

or at least the sides I thought I knew.

I cant bear this time.

It drags on as I lose my mind

reminded by things I find

like notes and clothes you left behind.

Wake me up, wake me up when all is done.

I wont rise until this battle's won.

My dignity's become undone.

But I wont go,

I can't do it on my own.

If this ain't love, then what is?

I'm willing to take the risk.

So petrified, I'm so scared to step into this ride.

What if I lose my heart and fail the climb?

I wont forgive me if i give up trying.

I heard his voice today,

I didn't know a single word he said.

Not one resemblance to the man I met.

Just a vacant broken boy instead.

There will be times

we'll try and give it up

bursting at the seams, no doubt.

We'll almost fall apart then burn the pieces

to watch them turn to dust,

but nothing will ever taint us.

I wont go

I can't do it on my own

If this ain't love, then what is?

I'm willing to take the risk

Will he... will he still remember me?

will he still love me even when he's free?

or will he go back to the place where he would chose the poison over me?

Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart.
A melody I start but can't complete.
Listen to the sound from deep within.
It's only beginning to find release.

Oh the time has come for my dreams to be heard.
They will not be pushed aside and turned,
into your own all 'cause you won't listen.

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads.
I'm not at home in my own home
and I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind.
You should have known.

Now I'm done believing you.
You don't know what I'm feeling.
I'm more than what you made of me.
I followed the voice you gave to me
but now I've gotta find my own.
You should have listened

There is someone here inside,
someone I thought had died so long ago.
Oh, I'm free now and my dreams will be heard.
They will not be pushed aside or worse
into your own all 'cause you won't listen.

I don't know where I belong
but I'll be moving on.
If you don't, if you won't listen
to the song here in my heart,
a melody I start but I will complete.

Haven't met you yet

I'm not surprised.

Not everything lasts.

I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.

Talk myself in.

I talk myself out.

I get all worked up, then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it.

I came up with a million excuses.

I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it'll all turn out.

You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.

And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.

I just haven't met you yet.

I might have to wait.

I'll never give up.

I guess it's half timing,

And the other half's luck.

Wherever you are.

Whenever it's right.

You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazing.

And baby your love is gonna change me.

And now I can see every possibility.

Goodbye my lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

I miss you

You used to call me your angel,
said I was sent straight down from heaven.
You'd hold me close in your arms.
I loved the way you felt so strong,
I never wanted you to leave,
I wanted you to stay here holding me.

I miss you,
I miss your smile.
And I still shed a tear,
every once in a while.
And even though it's different now.
You're still here somehow.
My heart won't let you go
and I need you to know.

You used to call me your dreamer,
and now I'm living out my dream.
Oh how I wish you could see,
everything that's happening for me.
I'm thinking back on the past.
It's true that time is flying by too fast.

I know you're in a better place, yeah.
But I wish that I could see your face, oh.
I know you're where you need to be,
even though it's not here with me.

Love can wait

If love is a feeling, then I don’t want it. You’ll take it and make it into more. But if you want something, that really means something, I’ll show you what love is really for. And if you want me to say: “you don’t have change,” I’ve been waiting patiently.

Well, love can wait for me, love can wait for me.

I think I see clearly, but everyone tells me: “aren’t you and I meant to be?” But don’t tell me baby that we’re going somewhere, because your somewhere is not where I want to be.          You don’t know what love is, my heart is losing all its faith. There’s this sound in my head that’s saying: “won’t you wait for me, will you wait for me?”.